As a mother, having the respect of your teenager is important not just for family harmony, but for her overall welfare. Teenagers who enjoy positive relationships with their parents tend to perform better academically, have a lower incident of drug use and are less likely to be sexually active.
Give to Receive
Parents often get caught up in the trap of treating their teenagers as if they are still young children; however, teenagers are rapidly becoming adults and are much more mature than parents often give them credit for. Teenagers often interpret their parent’s overprotective behaviour as disrespect because teens feel their parents are not acknowledging that they are becoming adults.
If you expect your teenager to treat you with respect you will have to give him the respect he deserves as well. As a parent, you need to allow your teenager the freedom to reach his potential to prepare him for leaving home and stop trying to protect him from all your fears.
Allow your teen to express her opinion without trying to threaten or cajole her into agreeing with your position. When having a disagreement with your teen, let her win the small arguments and do not come down on her for muttering under her breath as she walks away.
Be firm with her when you have to make a decision for her safety, such as prohibiting her from going to a party where you believe other children will have alcohol, but trying to control her every action and thought that has nothing to do with her well-being is a recipe for disaster.
Teenagers often claim they are being treated disrespectfully every time their parents do not give them their way. In order to get your teenager to respect you as his mother, you must take charge of the situation whenever he accuses you of being disrespectful to him.
Explain that you are showing him respect by explaining your position to him, rather than just issuing an ultimatum that he must follow. In a calm tone, point out to your teenager that you have not threatened him with punishment and have not raised your voice to him.
Once you have given due consideration to a situation and made a decision, you must be willing to stand up to the fallout. By the time she has reached her teens, your daughter has learned how to get you to give into her. However, allowing your teen to sway you after you have said no will only teach her that she can get her way with you if she argues with you long enough. By standing your ground, you will be much more successful in getting your teenager to show you the respect you deserve as her mother and authority figure.
From Nathan Fisher, Livestrong.com